Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
In a move that has elated banana-sellers across India, a monkey has been put in charge of the Regional Passport Office in Delhi. The monkey has been specially trained to sign documents infrequently and throw paperweights at alleged citizens who enter his office.
“On the whole this will be cheaper, as he only requires bananas,” said a spokesperson for the Ministry of External Affairs. “All members of the public are advised to carry several. He has a voracious appetite. He doesn’t eat all of them, but he likes collecting them. Sometimes he makes a big pile and rolls around in them. No one knows why.”
Junior officers at the RPO expressed dissatisfaction with these developments. “It’s all right for those with bowel problems,” said a disgruntled member of the clerical staff. “But what will the rest of us do with bananas?”