INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

VEGETARIAN TERRORISTS LIBERATE CHINESE RESTAURANT


In a move that has elated chickens across India, the Sakahari Sena has liberated a Chinese restaurant in Central Delhi.

The Sakahari Sena, or Vegetarian Defense League (popularly known as the VD League) is a global organization dedicated to violent promotion of vegetarianism. It enjoys substantial support from militant Hindu groups and Hollywood vegetarians. While His Holiness the Dalai Lama does not openly support them, he does smile enigmatically whenever they are mentioned.

The Chinese government has termed the incident ‘a slap in the face of the mighty Chinese nation’, and demanded Bangalore as compensation. Foreign policy experts expect negotiations to be hectic.

Shock troops from the SS descended on Berco’s during lunchtime yesterday, and evicted all customers. They then confiscated all non-veg items, installed a portrait of Gwyneth Paltrow, and conducted a brief purification ceremony. All captive poultry has been liberated. They are now on their way to a Home for Retired Chickens near Nainital, as is the owner of the restaurant.

The owner expressed relief at the developments. “If one more person had come in asking for tandoori chow mien,” he said, “I would have killed myself.”

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7 comments on “VEGETARIAN TERRORISTS LIBERATE CHINESE RESTAURANT

  1. goddessofglitter
    August 9, 2012

    I always tell people that I could never be a vegatarian because of my love of bacon. But maybe it’s actually because of my abhorrance for violence! Thank you for the lol before work. It’s going to be difficult to suggest the chicken salad sandwich without giggling

    • shovonc
      August 10, 2012

      There are powerful forces at work trying to take away our bacon. If they join hands, we are done. Remain vigilant.

  2. cosmicwhistleblower
    August 9, 2012

    So good, bhai sa’b…Quality humour…. check out mine at: http://www.facebook.com/groups/120607948085075/

    • shovonc
      August 10, 2012

      Link took me to Smuggler’s Arms. Is that you?

  3. Ashwini C N (@AshwiniCN)
    August 10, 2012

    Ha. That was wonderful. Loved Reading this piece of work :-) But they would have to realize that it takes more than just a small purification ceremony to take the taste of chicken from our soul :-)

    An ardent chicken fan :-)

    Ashwini

    http://ash-aqua-girl.blogspot.in/

    • shovonc
      August 11, 2012

      Me too. Have been collecting pictures of chickens. Expect more chicken action in the future.

  4. Uma
    August 12, 2012

    ROFL =)) that is hilarious!! thanks for the good laugh : D

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This entry was posted on August 9, 2012 by in BREAKING NEWS!! and tagged , , , , , , , .

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