Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
The Sakahari Sena, or Vegetarian Defense League (popularly known as the VD League) is a global organization dedicated to violent promotion of vegetarianism. It enjoys substantial support from militant Hindu groups and Hollywood vegetarians. While His Holiness the Dalai Lama does not openly support them, he does smile enigmatically whenever they are mentioned.
The Chinese government has termed the incident ‘a slap in the face of the mighty Chinese nation’, and demanded Bangalore as compensation. Foreign policy experts expect negotiations to be hectic.
Shock troops from the SS descended on Berco’s during lunchtime yesterday, and evicted all customers. They then confiscated all non-veg items, installed a portrait of Gwyneth Paltrow, and conducted a brief purification ceremony. All captive poultry has been liberated. They are now on their way to a Home for Retired Chickens near Nainital, as is the owner of the restaurant.
The owner expressed relief at the developments. “If one more person had come in asking for tandoori chow mien,” he said, “I would have killed myself.”