INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

KNOW YOUR LAWS : Indian Penal Code (1860), Section 506, Criminal Intimidation


According to this law, anyone who commits the crime of criminal intimidation gets between two to seven years in jail. This means that it is illegal to threaten people. In case you are annoyed, and feel like threatening someone, please check the exempted list. This law does not apply to the following people:

1)   The Law Minister

2)   All members of the Gandhi family, and people who closely resemble them.

3)   Leaders of Hindu, Muslim, Sikh or Christian political parties. Buddhists are not exempt, which is why the President of Sri Lanka rarely visits India.

4)   Rajnikant

Assuming you are not particularly religious, and have no acting skills, this leaves you with the options of either a) becoming the Law Minister, or b) becoming a member of the Gandhi family. In case you chose b), the only available candidate is Rahul Gandhi. At this point you have to look in the mirror and ask yourself, how far am I willing to go with this? If you would rather become the Law Minister, please take this simple quiz :

Q1) Does Sonia Gandhi have one lump of sugar with her morning  tea, or two?

Q2) Robert Vadra has just had a long, sweaty session at the gym. His muscles are glistening in the pale winter sun. He glances at you, briefly. He tosses you his jock strap. How long will you take to wash it?

Q3) What is your position on fruit?

Please submit your answer scripts in an envelope marked ‘Application for position of Law Minister’ to the Legal Advice Department, India Update. We will forward the same to the Competent Authority.

Who knows? If fortune smiles on you, soon you too could be criminally intimidating people, without attracting any action under Section 506 of the Indian Penal Code (1860).

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22 comments on “KNOW YOUR LAWS : Indian Penal Code (1860), Section 506, Criminal Intimidation

  1. Desi Traveler
    October 18, 2012

    ROTFL….i don’t qualify.. :(

  2. V.K.G.B.
    October 18, 2012

    kudos to your creativity!!! :-)

  3. Ned's Blog
    October 19, 2012

    I saw the movie “Ghandi.” Twice. And have witnessed three other Ben Kingsley movies. That should be good for some level of exemption, right?

  4. ZinalBhadra
    October 19, 2012

    *bows* You are good man!

  5. flyingbubbles
    October 19, 2012

    This is great:)

  6. Barb Drummond
    October 19, 2012

    why not just give the job to Ben Kingsley? Haven’t seen him in a lot of films lately – he might have some space in his diary.

  7. atluris
    October 19, 2012

    Super!

  8. moderndayruth
    October 19, 2012

    Excellent satire! Loved it! I wish our guys could write about injustice like do – but when you read local columns, you think to yourself: ‘oh, let them be except, who cares – as long as i don’t have to digest such venom and horrible writing style!” ;)

  9. Louisa's Writer
    October 22, 2012

    Fantastic post. I would love to know where the fruit reference came from! I don’t think I have the courage to actually volunteer to become a Ghandi – the life expectancy appears to be longer over here. Thanks a lot for an early Monday morning laugh.

  10. Ghazala Hossain
    October 22, 2012

    I want to become the law sinister minister .:;-)

  11. Ghazala Hossain
    October 22, 2012

    I want to become the law sinister minister ;-)

  12. TTT
    October 22, 2012

    lol ! superb … and i actually googled to check out if there is an exempted list ;) you never know !

  13. umashankar
    October 22, 2012

    O God! O God!! After reading all that, do I even want to intimidate even a mouse, even jocularly, even in my dreams? It is a perfect shot — I can see the ball sailing for a six across the stadium!

  14. I am not good at washing clothes. Will a small donation to the law minister’s trust be of any help? :)

  15. Sudipto Basumallick
    October 24, 2012

    Great one ! One more credential is perhaps required: you have to keep the word “shame” out of your dictionary totally , the less shame you have the more suited you are for these positions….

  16. jaishvats
    October 24, 2012

    lolz!

  17. Akshay Kumar G
    October 24, 2012

    Brilliant. Satirical. Funny. :D

  18. Ankit Beri
    October 24, 2012

    Superb !!!
    Loved it !!!

    Happy Blogging !!!

  19. majorsri
    January 6, 2013

    Saar Rajnikanth kay peechay kyun pade ho. :)

  20. Abbas Shaikh
    March 13, 2014

    Lol…too good:)

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