INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

Ask Uncle


 

Dear Uncle,

Should I vote for Barack Obama or Mitt Romney?

Sunita, Bengaluru

 

Dear Sunita,

Seeing the massive media coverage, I had anticipated that this problem would arise. Please note that Indian citizens are not eligible to vote in the US elections. Consuming large quantities of food from McDonald’s does not automatically qualify you for US citizenship. Certain unscrupulous local employees may be spreading such rumours. Do not fall for their tricks. Your location in Bengaluru is also a cause for concern. Are you working in a Call Centre? Do you pretend to be American on a regular basis? This can cause a wide variety of mental disorders.

In case you are actually American, the answer is much simpler. Successful American presidents are always very handsome. Less attractive people, such as Richard Nixon and Jimmy Carter, faced a variety of problems. Luckily, both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are particularly fine specimens of manhood, so you cannot really go wrong. Such things are subjective, so simply do what your heart tells you to do. I always do, with good results.

Love, Uncle.

 

About these ads

10 comments on “Ask Uncle

  1. Seyi sandra
    October 29, 2012

    Vote for both! Haa Haaa!!

  2. desi traveler
    October 29, 2012

    Excellent….thanks for clarifying……. I guess it is tougher to choose who will be the US presidents compared to who will be Indian president… :)

  3. neelkanth
    October 29, 2012

    Why not apply your own conscience?

  4. mjreynoldsblog
    October 30, 2012

    LOL@ “Consuming large quantities of food from McDonald’s does not automatically qualify you for US citizenship.” You would think it would, wouldn’t you?

  5. walkerjay
    October 30, 2012

    Where on earth did you get that wretched spelling for Bangalore?

    • shovonc
      October 31, 2012

      Uncle is always careful about hurting the sentiment of others.

      • walkerjay
        October 31, 2012

        :) Bangalore shall always be Bangalore.

  6. moderndayruth
    November 1, 2012

    Hilarious!!! We are all so obsessed with US elections (albeit rightfully so ;)) that i also ‘kinda feel i should vote! Note to self: Montenegrin citizens are not eligible to vote in the US elections.

  7. ZinalBhadra
    November 2, 2012

    hahahahaha

  8. Naomi Baltuck
    November 9, 2012

    The best man won!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on October 29, 2012 by in Ask Uncle and tagged , , , , , , .

Most Viewed

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Blog Stats

  • 207,474 hits
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,034 other followers

%d bloggers like this: