Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
President Pranab Mukherjee has not issued any statements in the last 48 hours regarding the brutal assault on a woman in Delhi, despite massive public protests in front if his house, due to acute pharyngitis.
“His tongue has become numb,” said an expert from the All India Institute of Medical Sciences. “It appears to be due to continuous and vigorous licking of someone’s posterior.”
Inside sources reveal that trace amounts of Italian DNA may have been found, although they could not confirm this due to Christmas holidays.
“This has left him unable to speak,” said a presidential spokesperson, “Also he has developed an unnatural craving for pasta.”