INDIA UPDATE
Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
GUJARAT GODMAN DENIES MASTURBATING WITH BOTH HANDS
In a move that has surprised deviants, revered Gujarat godman Asaram Bapu has denied that he uses both hands to masturbate.
The clarification became necessary since certain misguided elements have started spreading rumours to this effect. This was after he told his followers, “The victim is as guilty as her rapists. Can one hand clap? I don’t think so.”
A spokesman for the eminent guru took time off from molesting a child to issue a statement.
“The media is always maligning His Holiness, which is natural, as many of them are women. Actually he is very clean. See how many clean chits he is getting all the time. In 2009, he was given a clean chit in a case of attempted murder. In 2010, he was given a clean chit in the death of two young boys at his Ashram. It’s true that he did not get a clean chit in the land encroachment case, and had to return 67,000 square metres to villagers, but what is 67,000 square metres? All is maya.”
The revered ascetic also writes a column on spirituality and real estate for The Speaking Tree. Readers are encouraged to give him feedback at http://www.speakingtree.in/asarambapuji
Very interesting.
What an ass!
Will the government give him a clean chit on this too?
Maya?! Grrr…
Asaram: “Speak hands for me”…..
Nirbhaya: “Et tu Asaram, then fall Nirbhaya”….
He needs a clean chit on his ambidexterity…
This Asaram is a pervert
he is a piece of shit to me..
Unfortunately our country is ‘blessed’ with so many perverts who call themselves gurus, godmen, etc.
That was WICKED!
Excellent! He is such a jerk, i was outraged by his comments! Holly man, my a**!!! I am going to click on the link you inserted – to see if i can leave such comment on his blog/column, he’s a disgrace for human race!
Nein. I would prefer shaking my hands with Ricky ponting instead.
Liked the satire.
and he still has followers ???!!! where are we heading to ?
By the way, Speaking Tree has removed Asaram’s profile from it’s list of gurus.