INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

UP GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCES MAJOR POLICE REFORMS


In a move which analysts have described as ‘a giant leap into the nineteenth century’, Uttar Pradesh Police will be issuing 800 bicycles to policemen in Lucknow, Kanpur, Allahabad, and … Continue reading

May 31, 2014 · 7 Comments

I WAS KIDNAPPED BY MOTHER DAIRY, EXPLAINS BUFFALO


In news that has been hailed by the Mental Patients Association of India, one of the recovered buffaloes in the Rampur Buffalo Mishap has now named the culprits. “We are … Continue reading

February 5, 2014 · 13 Comments

WARREN BUFFET HIRES SONIA GANDHI’S SON-IN-LAW


In news that has relieved lovers of money everywhere, legendary investment guru Warren Buffet has announced that the search for his successor is finally over. New Delhi-based entrepreneur Robert Vadra, … Continue reading

January 5, 2014 · 76 Comments

USA VICTIMISES KARGIL WAR WIDOW


In news which the foreign ministry has described as ‘yet another crime against women’, the USA has been caught red-handed in the act of victimising a Kargil war widow. The … Continue reading

December 16, 2013 · 3 Comments

RAILWAY MINISTRY ANNOUNCES SPECIAL TRAIN FOR CRIMINALS


In developments hailed by the Italian mafia as ‘the greatest news since the invention of pasta’, the Railway Ministry has announced the immediate launch of ‘Prison-on-Wheels’, a special luxury train … Continue reading

September 25, 2013 · 7 Comments

GUJARAT GODMAN TO BE BRAND AMBASSADOR FOR BAIDYANATH VITA-EX


In news described as ‘highly encouraging’ by the Erectile Dysfunction Foundation, revered Godman Asaram Bapu has been appointed brand ambassador for vitality drug Baidyanath Vita-Ex, which promises improved married life. … Continue reading

September 3, 2013 · 8 Comments

WHEN WE PRICK CRIMINALS, DO THEY NOT BLEED, ASKS KAPIL SIBAL.


In news that has led to a spontaneous Macarena outbreak in Tihar jail, Union Minister Kapil Sibal has announced that the government may appeal against the Supreme Court order disqualifying … Continue reading

August 3, 2013 · 12 Comments

CHILD GIVES AWAY FATHER’S HARD-EARNED MONEY


In news that has been condemned by the Reserve Bank of India, Pappu Verma, 11, resident of Aurangzeb Road, has been caught red-handed after giving away his father’s hard-earned money. … Continue reading

July 16, 2013 · 7 Comments

POLITICIAN LOSES HEAD WHILE FLAGGING OFF RELIEF TRAIN.


In what has been described as ‘crippling blow to relief coverage’, a local politician from Bulandshahr was fatally injured while flagging off a train filled with relief material for Uttarkhand. … Continue reading

July 4, 2013 · 6 Comments

INDIA TO CHARGE BRITAIN FOR OVERSTAYING TILL 1947


In news that has been condemned by the Delhi Gymkhana, the Indian government has announced that it will be charging the British government arrears in rent and visa fees for … Continue reading

June 26, 2013 · 82 Comments

INDIAN CRICKETERS TO PLAY IN THE NUDE


In news that has evoked mixed reactions from women, the Board of Cricket Control of India has announced that Indian players will no longer be allowed to wear clothing while … Continue reading

May 28, 2013 · 16 Comments

SALMAN KHURSHID TO HELP DISABLED IN CHINA


In what a Chinese foreign ministry official has described as ‘a possible act of war’, Indian Foreign Minister Salman Khurshid has announced that he will be helping the disabled during … Continue reading

April 26, 2013 · 11 Comments

MUSHARRAF GRANTED BAIL AFTER OFFER FROM BOLLYWOOD.


In news described as ‘uplifting’ by the Retired Dictators Welfare Association, former Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf has been granted a reprieve by the Pakistan Supreme Court. This was after an … Continue reading

April 18, 2013 · 6 Comments

AJIT PAWAR TO PERSONALLY IRRIGATE MAHARASHTRA


In news that has been welcomed by supporters of organic farming, Maharashtra Deputy Prime Minister Ajit Pawar has announced that he will be touring drought-affected regions of Maharashtra, in order … Continue reading

April 5, 2013 · 13 Comments

TOYOTA ANNOUNCES SCHEME FOR POOR PEOPLE


In news that has horrified Montek Singh Ahluwalia, Toyota Motor Company has launched a special scheme for the underprivileged in India. All holders of the Below Poverty Line card will … Continue reading

April 3, 2013 · 9 Comments

DELHI POLICE TO PROVIDE CARDBOARD CUT-OUTS FOR WOMEN


In news welcomed by supporters of women, Delhi Police has announced an innovative scheme to ensure their safety. The scheme was inspired by an equally innovative scheme which has been … Continue reading

March 25, 2013 · 2 Comments

AFTER SUCCESSFUL TEST OF SUBMARINE MISSILE, INDIA CONSIDERS SUBMARINE PURCHASE


In news hailed by ammunition manufacturers worldwide, India has successfully tested the 290 Km Brahmos supersonic underwater cruise missile. A jubilant scientist announced that “this was the first time a … Continue reading

March 21, 2013 · 6 Comments

‘DARE TO THINK BEYOND FREE SPEECH’, SAYS MANAGEMENT GURU


In news that we cannot mock, as per the law, legendary management school IIPM has changed its slogan from ‘Dare to think beyond IIMs’ to ‘Dare to think beyond free … Continue reading

February 16, 2013 · 8 Comments

Most Viewed

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Blog Stats

  • 201,387 hits
Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,028 other followers