Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
Celebrated US attorney Preet Bharara confirmed that the subject of prosecuting white people on Wall Street was under active consideration. “It’s not that we’re targeting immigrants, or anything,” he said, “It’s just that security cameras tend to track them more, so it’s easier to get footage.”
A Justice Department official, who chose to remain anonymous, admitted that demographics had played a role in the prosecution. “We wanted to favour sons-of-the-soil, like other countries,” he said, “But most of them were killed in the nineteenth century. Instead, we’re borrowing a well-known Inventory Management principle called LIFO, which means Last In First Out. Its very similar to puking. We want to use this principle to make Wall Street a whiter, cleaner place.”