Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
After hurling out the existing PM and crushing the aspirations of a series of potential successors, Pakistan Supreme Court Chief Justice Iftikhar Chaudhri’s condition stabilised today, and he is no longer smashing furniture. Insiders reveal that he agreed to resume medication in response to entreaties from a secret Swiss delegation, which implored him not to damage relations between the two nations any further. Justice Chaudhuri has been upset because many Pakistani politicians have shown a preference for Swiss banks over Pakistani banks.
In related news, the freshly anointed PM announced his intention to shift his office to Dubai. “With the Taliban, ISI and Chief Justice all after him,” said a spokesman, “Pakistan is no place for the PM.”