Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
Education levels in India rose dramatically after Kapil Sibal took time off from destroying the IITs to lower literacy norms. “I saw what my friend Monty did with the poverty line, and I liked it,” said the Minister. “Suddenly, it looks like the PM has uplifted millions, although inflation has actually created 30 million new poor people. I want to replicate this model across sectors, starting with education.”
The old norm, which defined literacy as the ability to sign your name, has been scrapped. Instead, anyone who can recognize his or her own signature will now be deemed literate, regardless of who does the signing. This further widens the gap with China, where literacy has boldly been defined as the ability to read and write.
There was no official reaction from the Chinese, due to what one source described as ‘uncontrollable giggling.’