Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
Noted cine star Aishwarya Rai has divorced her husband of four years, a tree. They were joined in holy matrimony to ward off evil, but Ms Rai, whose previous admirers include Inspector Clouseau, is dissatisfied with the results. A representative of bharatmatrimoney.com confirmed that they had received the mandate to find a replacement, and were scouting forests across the country. A banyan tree in Tirupati has reportedly been rejected by the actress for being ‘too gnarly.’
Ms Rai’s ex-husband was not available for comment, but his gardener reported that he has been shedding heavily. “He is devastated,” said the gardener. “He never thought he would find someone as wooden as him, and now he has lost her.”