INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

INDIAN AUDIENCES REJECT SPIDER-MAN, PREFER RAJNIKANT


Senior management at Columbia Pictures choked on their martinis after learning that ‘The Amazing Spider-Man’ has been universally rejected by Indian audiences. The absence of songs has been cited as a particular handicap, along with the absence of Kareena Kapoor. In a country where many enjoy super-powers, Spider-Man’s abilities have left viewers underwhelmed.

“All he does is jump from building to building,” said Nandkishore, 62. “Rajnikant can do that and sing at the same time. Hanuman can do that, and grant all our wishes. No one has asked Hrithik Roshan, but I’m sure he can do it also. Plus Gwen Stacy wasn’t all that hot.”

Rumours from California indicate that Columbia will be inserting an item number, and hectic parlays are on with Kate Winslet for the purpose.

 

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