Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
In what analysts have described as a supreme act of sacrifice, government officers in Uttar Pradesh have immolated a chair. This was to express their outrage after UP Minister Shiv Lal Yadav recently suggested that if they worked hard, they could steal a little.
“What about those who don’t work hard?” asked a senior IAS officer. “This is the most blatant kind of prejudice. Next, they’ll be creating quotas for hard workers. Do we not have lives and families? Are we not human?”
Mr. Shiv Lal Yadav, who is the brother of party supremo Mulayam Singh Yadav, the uncle of chief minister Akhilesh Yadav, and the uncle-in-law of member of parliament Dimple Yadav, has refused to answer any questions from the press, unless they are asked by a Yadav. The Yadavs are often referred to as ‘The Kennedys of Uttar Pradesh’, especially by themselves.
“What does he mean, steal a little,” demanded another outraged bureaucrat, “With inflation so high, how is that feasible?”
The burning of a chair is an act rich with symbolism for the IAS, but not as much as had originally been thought.
“It belonged to Mr. Pande in the Ministry of Rural Development,” said one of the arsonists. “He passed away last year, but nobody noticed.”