Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
“Other publishers would point at him and giggle all the time,” said his distraught spouse, “He couldn’t bear it any more. After he received the latest manuscript, he didn’t speak to anybody for days.”
Members of the publishing fraternity are vanishing mysteriously, with many of them rumoured to be hiding in Honolulu. On receiving the news, one prominent editor tried to escape in the middle of a hernia operation, but was overpowered by hospital staff.
Emerging briefly from anaesthesia, the editor explained the reasons for his actions. “This can mean only one thing,” said the failed escapee. “He needs a new publisher.”
No actual publishers were harmed during the production of this news item.