INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

VIP SHOOTS OLYMPIC OFFICIAL


Formerly disgraced Olympic VIP Suresh Kalmadi raised eyebrows in London after he slew an official yesterday. The crime was committed during the 10m Air Pistol event. As he was led away by the London Police, he maintained that his motives were patriotic.

“Our Miss Heena Sidhu was getting eliminated,” explained Kalmadi, “I thought that if I fired a few shots from my VIP box into the target, no one would notice, and she could get some extra points. But I could not judge the angle properly.”

Mr Kalmadi’s legal team, who accompany him everywhere, remain optimistic.

“We’re going to blame it on left over cast members from the opening ceremony,” said the legal team, “Some of them are still in the stadium.”

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2 comments on “VIP SHOOTS OLYMPIC OFFICIAL

  1. Indriyajit
    July 31, 2012

    you must please write about Kiran Bedis outfits – for some reason the pattern above reminded me of those

    • shovonc
      July 31, 2012

      If there is a violation in progress, India Update will get on the case.

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