Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
In a move described by PETA as ‘heinous beyond description’, authorities have clamped down on an underground cat movement aimed at sabotaging the launch of ‘The Wildings’, the new novel by Nilanjana Roy.
Cats from across the city were picked up early this morning, very carefully, and are currently being held at Nizamuddin police station. The book, a searing expose of feline society, is all set to reveal secrets that cats have successfully suppressed for thousands of years. While details of the terrorist plot are yet to be revealed, sources indicate that they included shredding, balls of string, and co-ordinated howling.
Other species featured in the book have been more welcoming.
“I’ve only eaten the cover so far,” said a Vasant Vihar-based poodle, “And it tasted excellent!”
“I was really upset after Jonathan Livingstone Seagull,” said a nearby eagle, “But now I feel so much better!”
“It’s the best thing I’ve read since my own poetry!” said Union Minister Kapil Sibal.
The police are investigating the possibility that the terrorists may have been financed by Salman Rushdie. “It may be some form of catwa,” revealed Sub-Inspector Ghorpade of the Nizamuddin police.
Awesome book. Awesome person. If you’re in Delhi, the launch is on August 29th. Don’t bring your cat.