INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

GOVERNMENT PROHIBITS COLGATE ADVERTISING.


In a move which has caused an unprecedented admission rush in dental colleges, the government today has banned Colgate from all forms of advertising.

This was in response to public demands for action in the ‘Coalgate’ scandal, in which the Prime Minister distributed large quantities of coal to deserving persons. The PM has maintained a dignified silence on the issue. The government has denied that this is because he is actually an experimental robot manufactured by Honda.

“The Prime Minister is too hurt to say anything,” explained a PMO spokesperson, “This is hampering government activity. We have no idea what madam wants. Swift action was required.”

In a demonstration of solidarity, most Congress MPs have stopped brushing their teeth, while a few said they were having their teeth removed entirely, ‘as we can afford to get someone else to chew for us’. Former Coal Minister Subodh Kant Sahai is having his brother’s teeth removed. In a symbolic gesture, several older party members have immolated their dentures at Jantar Mantar, where their extremely high alcohol content led to an unexpected conflagration.

Proctor & Gamble has expressed satisfaction at the move.

“We told them repeatedly not to name their product after a mineral, but they were, like, don’t be so phonetic,” said a source. “That’s why we checked very carefully before calling ours Pepsodent.”

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10 comments on “GOVERNMENT PROHIBITS COLGATE ADVERTISING.

  1. RAMU DAS
    September 1, 2012

    ‘as we can afford to get someone else to chew for us’ 😛 hahaha!

  2. walkerjay
    September 1, 2012

    “… their extremely high alcohol content led to an unexpected conflagration.”
    WIN!

  3. nevinpowers7
    September 1, 2012

    Epic> Really had a good laugh reading this 😀

  4. surindernath
    September 3, 2012

    Oe’ ye Hangama hai kyon barpa maine coal gate jo ki hai

    Kanjooso Daaka to nahin daala, maine thori hi to lee hai !!

  5. Md. Alsanda
    September 5, 2012

    Thanks for passing by.

  6. David Stewart
    September 5, 2012

    That was really good. Thank you. 🙂

  7. inducares
    September 5, 2012

    Love your satire,let us if this coalgate sullies them or just dives back into some dark dungeon.

  8. kayemofnmyk
    September 6, 2012

    Feel sorry for Manmohan Singh. But he should have the courage to hold his party and coalition members accountable even under threat of their toppling the UPA’s majority. Wonder how they can be reined in.

  9. jjamwal
    September 18, 2012

    LOL. What about daatun ?

  10. nyparrot
    September 28, 2012

    LOL. The Theater of Absurd… 🙂

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This entry was posted on September 1, 2012 by in BREAKING NEWS!! and tagged , , , , , .

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