Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
In a move that could fatally hamper US-Italy relations, the Indian Navy is being despatched to Washington. The decision was taken after an article appeared in the Washington Post, describing Prime Minister Manmohan Singh as a doddering old crock who is kind to kleptomaniacs, and displays a compulsive need to clean Italian footwear. (Article dissing MMS)
Gun control laws in Washington have been further relaxed, to enable citizens to defend themselves. Actor Clint Eastwood and his chair are reportedly on their way to join the effort. The US Coast Guard has been placed on high alert, as has Angelina Jolie.
The Indian Navy is confident of success. The ten-year old repair efforts on the thirty-year old aircraft carrier Admiral Gorshkov, provided by Russia in exchange for vodka, will now be accelerated.
“The people of Washington will know our wrath,” said an Indian Navy spokesperson, “Just as soon as we can get her afloat.”