Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
In a move that has enthused evildoers everywhere, the Central Bureau of Investigation has announced that it will be investigating itself for possible payroll fraud. This step has been taken after a CBI data entry operator stole over Rs 16 million from the CBI, mainly as salaries for non-existent officers.
Experts have suggested issuing salary cheques against a list of employees, so that outsiders do not receive salary. “This is one of several proposals under consideration,” said a CBI source. “The first step is to find out all their names, with correct spelling.”
Will this turmoil lead to a vacuum in law enforcement? The CBI Director has asked the public not to worry. “We will not rest until we find out the names of everyone who works for us,” he said, “But in the mean time, our work will not suffer. We will continue to not investigate a wide variety of crimes.”