Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
In an act symbolizing Chinese hegemony over mutton, the Chinese Army has reportedly assaulted sheep in the Denchok sector of what the Chinese government refers to as the ‘so called Indo-Chinese border’. Chinese troops threw stones at several sheep, breaking the leg of one of them. The sheep were unarmed at the time.
This is not, as was earlier surmised, part of China’s strategy to subdue inferior species, but is more connected to winter wear. “Beijing was late in sending us our winter woollies,” said one of the troops, “And the weather was getting colder.”
Analysts see this as part of a series of border incursions by the PLA, which were stepped up recently to prevent any outbreaks of goodwill during the visit of Chinese Defense Minister Liang Guanglie. The long term Chinese strategy is to unify Northern and Southern Tibet into one vast territory where everybody hates them.
Indian troops are moving rapidly towards the border, after reports that Pamela Anderson was being airlifted by PETA to help defend the sheep. The New Zealand High Commission has issued a strongly worded protest. In a gesture of support, the US government is sending Clint Eastwood, who will be throwing chairs across the border in an attempt to repel future assaults.
There was some degree of surprise that the Chinese Army has been throwing stones instead of using bullets, but the PLA has a simple explanation.
“We’re saving those for next Friday,” said a PLA spokesperson.