INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

THOUSANDS RIOT IN PAKISTAN AFTER KFC SHUTS DOWN


In a development greeted enthusiastically by chickens across the world, Pakistan witnessed massive riots after KFC closed down all outlets on Love The Prophet Day. The Pakistan government had declared Friday a national holiday, to enable citizens to protest a blasphemous film by noted porn director Nakoula Basseley Nakoula, who was recently thrown out of the porn industry for not being classy enough.

“We were expressing our love for the Prophet by burning some vehicles,” said a protestor, “Then someone said, ‘KFC’s closing down’, and someone else said, ‘What, no chicken?’ and after that all hell broke loose.”

Angry mobs attacked cinemas, public buildings, churches, petrol pumps and policemen, although the American Consulate was saved by projecting films featuring Hillary Clinton on a giant screen. Distraught devotees also robbed several banks and electronic stores. Prominent clerics have issued a fatwa against the managing director of KFC, who is reportedly hiding in Salman Rushdie’s basement.

Pakistan PM Raja Parvaiz Ashraf expressed shock at the developments, and vowed swift action. “When we declared Friday a holiday and suggested protesting, we thought people would hold hands and sing Kumbaya,” he said, “But we will not let the culprits go scot-free. As soon as devotees stop killing each other, we’re sending them to Kentucky.”

Advertisements

18 comments on “THOUSANDS RIOT IN PAKISTAN AFTER KFC SHUTS DOWN

  1. Barb Drummond
    September 22, 2012

    Another great post. when do the chickens start rioting about being KFC’d?

    • shovonc
      September 25, 2012

      I don’t know. But be afraid. Be very afraid.

  2. rich1698
    September 22, 2012

    Send in Angelina Jolie, she’ll sort them out 😀

  3. argentumvulgaris
    September 23, 2012

    Was McDonald’s not similarly missed? Does Pakistan in fact have McDonald’s? Or is McDonald’s considered more important than churches and petrol stations, and therefore not to be destroyed?

    AV

    • shovonc
      September 24, 2012

      Well they value them more than churches, from what I can make out.

  4. Amit ganguly
    September 24, 2012

    Interesting way to write the post.Indeed Chickens are celebrating the day !!

  5. panchali
    September 24, 2012

    super quick compact read …:D So much for anti-amrican feelings! ? LOL…

  6. Saru (@SaruSinghal)
    September 24, 2012

    LOL…:)It is always a lot of fun reading your posts:)

    • shovonc
      September 25, 2012

      Thanks Saru. Laughing is good for the health. My father wanted me to be a doctor. I’m trying to respect his wishes.

  7. arpit
    September 24, 2012

    This is the first time I am reading that people protested against the closure of a fast food restaurant

  8. kayemofnmyk
    September 25, 2012

    That film was disgusting but what was worse was the reaction. It is like, toe our line or we will kill you. Pure coersion. How can you support them even if you feel sympathetic towards their cause? You’re a great doctor!

  9. anjalisaini08
    September 25, 2012

    Lol… It was fun reading this. But on a serious note I only wonder “Why this kolaveri ?”

    • shovonc
      September 25, 2012

      Same as us, probably. Blood = Votes. Votes = Money. Police = Nitwits.

  10. They should be glad that at least Barista was kept open, so that rioters can carry out the hard work of burning vehicles and flags with more energy.

  11. alka narula
    September 27, 2012

    my first time here i thnk,love the post will come back for more for sure:)

  12. “THOUSANDS RIOT IN PAKISTAN AFTER KFC SHUTS DOWN INDIA
    UPDATE” certainly got myself simply addicted with ur web site!
    I personallywill wind up being back again far
    more regularly. Thanks a lot ,Claire

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Most Viewed

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Blog Stats

  • 344,554 hits
%d bloggers like this: