INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

I MEANT CORRUPTION ON JUPITER, EXPLAINS RAHUL GANDHI


Jupiter

In a speech which his admirers described as ‘rivaled only by the one he gave last week’, Rahul Gandhi has impressed many by the depth of his passion against corruption.

“It was like corruption was this living thing,” said one admirer, “And he was beating it repeatedly with a stick.”

Others were confused, as more or less simultaneously, the Congress government in Maharashtra was rejecting the judicial report on the Adarsh Housing Scam. The report had indicted four senior members of Mr. Gandhi’s own party, as well as 12 senior bureaucrats, and features New York heroine Ms. Devyani Khobragade, currently facing victimization by the CIA.

According to the Maharashtra CM, this was done ‘in the public interest’.

“My colleagues are members of the public,” explained the CM, “And their interests were getting affected.”

In the light of these apparent contradictions, Mr. Gandhi chose to clarify.

“See India is very big, boss,” he said. “So is Jupiter. Naturally, in my earlier speech, I was referring to Jupiter. We need to practice our anti-corruption methodologies in less populated areas first. It’s all part of the learning process.”

In related news, Mr Uttam Khobragade, father of New York heroine Devyani, has once more refused to start his ‘fast unto death’, which he had earlier promised to do. Disappointment has been widespread.

“It’s as if promises made in this country have no meaning any more,” said Mr Karamjit Singh of Kalkaji.

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This entry was posted on September 24, 2012 by in BREAKING NEWS!! and tagged , , , , , .

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