Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
In news that has triggered considerable nervousness amongst criminals, an IMRB survey has revealed that Indian policemen are growing progressively more affectionate.
As per this report, many police officers now give advance warning before applying electrodes to testicles, and are often more sympathetic while dealing with the average citizen.
“It’s true that they beat me up severely,” said R.P. Mehrotra, a resident of Najafgarh, “But they did offer me a cup of tea first.”
“They refused to do anything about a murder in our locality,” said Avinash Dhingra of Green Park, “But I must say they were extremely cordial about the whole thing.”
The survey attributes this to rising income levels and greater conjugal bliss, as more and more policemen find true love in each other’s arms. This could radically change the way the public deals with the police.
“The next time you go to the station, don’t offer them money,” suggests an IMRB researcher. “Instead, give them something domestic, like a pretty vase, or an embroidered footstool. The results could surprise you.”