Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
Incensed by reports that Pakistani Foreign Minister Heena Rabbani Khar has now targeted Rahul Gandhi, former Uttar Pradesh Supremo Mayawati has raised her handbag for the nation. Using language that India Update refuses to repeat, due to genuine fear, Ms Mayawati has challenged the infamous Islamic hottie to a handbag shootout. The values of their respective collections will be estimated by independent experts. The winner will receive Rahul Gandhi.
Reputed London auction house Sotheby’s has been recruited for the purpose.
“We don’t normally do this sort of thing,” said Mr. Sotheby, over a cup of lemon tea, “But both these women have access to nuclear weapons.”
In related news, Indian Foreign Minister S.M. Krishna, who reportedly changed wigs three times during a recent summit with Ms Khar, has offered his services as interlocuter. Ms Khar has issued a public statement in response, saying she would rather choke herself with her own dupatta. Mr. Krishna’s wig manufacturer has been arrested, despite offering substantial compensation, mostly in the form of free wigs. Charges against him should be framed by next week.
As the excitement mounts, Mr. Rahul Gandhi has been absconding. Sources revealed that he may have joined brother-in-law Robert Vadra, who locked himself in his gym last Thursday, and is refusing to come out.