Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
In what CNBC described as ‘a big blow to United Breweries’, National Heir Rahul Gandhi has clarified that he is not too high to talk to the public. This was after family concierge Dogvijay Singh told journalists that Sonia Gandhi, Rahul Gandhi and prime minister Manmohan Singh were ‘too high’ to debate anti-corruption activists on corruption.
“It’s pretty tough touring villages, and sometimes you need a bit of a buzz,” said Rahul Gandhi, “Plus, if a poor man offers you hooch, it seems rude to refuse. But it’s wrong say that I’m always too high.”
According to analysts, Dogvijay’s statement sheds fresh light on a wide variety of developments that have puzzled the nation.
“This could explain why Manmohan Singh looks so glassy-eyed all the time,” said one of them. “And also why Sonia Gandhi agreed to Robert Vadra as son-in-law.”
In related news, the London School of Taxidermy is sending a delegation to study Manmohan Singh. Trained professionals will observe him from close quarters, and take extensive notes.
“We argue often at the local pub, but we wanted to settle the issue once and for all,” said a young taxidermist, “What we want to know is this. How do they get his lips to move?”