INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

NOT TOO HIGH, CLARIFIES RAHUL GANDHI.


In what CNBC described as ‘a big blow to United Breweries’, National Heir Rahul Gandhi has clarified that he is not too high to talk to the public. This was after family concierge Dogvijay Singh told journalists that Sonia Gandhi, Rahul Gandhi and prime minister Manmohan Singh were ‘too high’ to debate anti-corruption activists on corruption.

“It’s pretty tough touring villages, and sometimes you need a bit of a buzz,” said Rahul Gandhi, “Plus, if a poor man offers you hooch, it seems rude to refuse. But it’s wrong say that I’m always too high.”

According to analysts, Dogvijay’s statement sheds fresh light on a wide variety of developments that have puzzled the nation.

“This could explain why Manmohan Singh looks so glassy-eyed all the time,” said one of them. “And also why Sonia Gandhi agreed to Robert Vadra as son-in-law.”

In related news, the London School of Taxidermy is sending a delegation to study Manmohan Singh. Trained professionals will observe him from close quarters, and take extensive notes.

“We argue often at the local pub, but we wanted to settle the issue once and for all,” said a young taxidermist, “What we want to know is this. How do they get his lips to move?”

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13 comments on “NOT TOO HIGH, CLARIFIES RAHUL GANDHI.

  1. anantschaudhry
    October 23, 2012

    5/5 for this one sir 🙂

  2. sudiptapikuroy
    October 24, 2012

    HIGH RE HIGH… LAGEY RAHO SHOVONBHAI…!!!

  3. RAJKRISHNAN NAIR
    October 24, 2012

    Yep that clears a lot of questions…

  4. meowpurrs
    October 26, 2012

    Well, the last line takes the cake!

  5. indrani
    October 26, 2012

    Hmm… now I get it.
    The delegation’s observations will be interesting I am sure. Hope it will be shared.

  6. the only gandhi i know died a martyr. the mahatma the rest i consider pretenders to the throne ..thank you shovon.. ashes to ashes dust to dust what was once flesh and bones ..the mahatma ..moans

  7. raju070
    October 27, 2012

    Absolutely hilarious. Political satire at its best. 🙂

  8. panchaliali
    October 27, 2012

    😮
    ..and we are making jokes about it! pathetic…I pity the delegation!:((

  9. sudiptapikuroy
    October 27, 2012

    High Rai High.. Lageey Raho Shovonbhai….

  10. Ghazala Hossain
    October 27, 2012

    I have no interest in politics but your posts are hilarious :p

  11. Manas Sen Gupta
    October 28, 2012

    The mighty are never “too high” but they claim to be always dry (untouched by corruption). By the way, the observations of the taxidermists will be published in the next edition of Ripley’s Believe It or Not.

  12. moderndayruth
    April 15, 2013

    Bwahhha!!!! “National Heir ” Rahul Gandhi and the family concierge’s remark… Hilarious! Pity it’s not SF, at least not in totality (as in – not rooted in reality in anyway :(((((

  13. Ganeshbrhills
    September 24, 2013

    High? Lo! Hilarious

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This entry was posted on October 18, 2012 by in BREAKING NEWS!! and tagged , , , , , , , .

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