INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

ROBERT VADRA REFUSES TO LEAVE GYM


In news that has caused anxiety amongst servants of the Gandhi family, national son-in-law Robert Vadra has locked himself inside his gym, and is refusing to come out.

“Mummy G said I was fat,” said Robert, after a microphone was slipped under the door, “So I worked and worked and worked. I lost 10 kilos in 5 years. After that, all I said was, please buy me 8-pack abs mummy, so many third class people have them, and she said no.”

In a bid to end the family’s agony, family loyalists have been trying to entice Vadra out of his gym. Education Minister Kapil Sibal has promised never to write poetry again. Haryana Chief Minister Ranvir Hooda has offered Chandigarh. Leading Swiss investor Sharad Pawar has offered several localities in Zurich. Congress spokesperson Manish Tiwari has offered to wash his clothes. An international rescue party, including Tiger Woods and Angelina Jolie, has abandoned their effort, after their Air India flight was unavoidably delayed. In a blow to the hopes of many, despite such a golden opportunity, Law Minister Salman Khurshid still refuses to fulfill his promise of giving his life for Sonia Gandhi.

“It’s as if promises made on national TV have no value,” said a miserable Rajiv Singh Rathore, of Patparganj.

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8 comments on “ROBERT VADRA REFUSES TO LEAVE GYM

  1. Waldo "Wally" Tomosky
    October 26, 2012

    Super funny! Thanks for sharing.

  2. sudiptapikuroy
    October 26, 2012

    And Arnab Goswami has vowed not to expose himself on “your channel” further & debate with his mouth shut till there is a “chichhing-fak” from the gym…

  3. anantschaudhry
    October 26, 2012

    This is hilarious, just had to share it 🙂

  4. indriyajit Sethi
    October 28, 2012

    So I was g-ogle-ing ‘angelina jolie’ – and I came across this article you wrote Mr C. Surely you could have included a pic of AJ instead of that dumb belle? Sigh! Anyway now that you have me here on false pretexts, let me inform you that in aamchi mumbai we are more amused by Gadkari and Bhujbal sharing an office, for us Vadra is small fry as far as real estate scams go, its not even the price of a 3000 sq foot flat in cuffe parade, these dilliwalas surely have some catching up to do with our ‘leading swiss investor’ 🙂

  5. inducares
    October 29, 2012

    Love your humor Shovon & the proof is at jeeteraho.
    About Vadra-it is best to leave him there.

  6. moderndayruth
    October 31, 2012

    Too funny! I am afraid NOT that the following will be great loss for contemporary Indian poetry: “Education Minister Kapil Sibal has promised never to write poetry again. ” 😛

  7. purbaray
    November 4, 2012

    *Chuckles* Priyanka Gandhi is the best thing to have happened to this beefcake.

  8. anantschaudhry
    November 27, 2012

    Hi Shovonc , I’ve nominated your blog for “Blog of the year 2012″ award!

    I wanted to post this on your About page but couldn’t find it, hope you don’t mind me posting this a s a comment

    You can check it out and collect the star over here:
    http://ifoundx.wordpress.com/2012/11/27/my-first-blog-award/

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This entry was posted on October 26, 2012 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , .

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