Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
In news that has caused anxiety amongst servants of the Gandhi family, national son-in-law Robert Vadra has locked himself inside his gym, and is refusing to come out.
“Mummy G said I was fat,” said Robert, after a microphone was slipped under the door, “So I worked and worked and worked. I lost 10 kilos in 5 years. After that, all I said was, please buy me 8-pack abs mummy, so many third class people have them, and she said no.”
In a bid to end the family’s agony, family loyalists have been trying to entice Vadra out of his gym. Education Minister Kapil Sibal has promised never to write poetry again. Haryana Chief Minister Ranvir Hooda has offered Chandigarh. Leading Swiss investor Sharad Pawar has offered several localities in Zurich. Congress spokesperson Manish Tiwari has offered to wash his clothes. An international rescue party, including Tiger Woods and Angelina Jolie, has abandoned their effort, after their Air India flight was unavoidably delayed. In a blow to the hopes of many, despite such a golden opportunity, Law Minister Salman Khurshid still refuses to fulfill his promise of giving his life for Sonia Gandhi.
“It’s as if promises made on national TV have no value,” said a miserable Rajiv Singh Rathore, of Patparganj.