Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

Ask Uncle


Dear Uncle,

Should I vote for Barack Obama or Mitt Romney?

Sunita, Bengaluru


Dear Sunita,

Seeing the massive media coverage, I had anticipated that this problem would arise. Please note that Indian citizens are not eligible to vote in the US elections. Consuming large quantities of food from McDonald’s does not automatically qualify you for US citizenship. Certain unscrupulous local employees may be spreading such rumours. Do not fall for their tricks. Your location in Bengaluru is also a cause for concern. Are you working in a Call Centre? Do you pretend to be American on a regular basis? This can cause a wide variety of mental disorders.

In case you are actually American, the answer is much simpler. Successful American presidents are always very handsome. Less attractive people, such as Richard Nixon and Jimmy Carter, faced a variety of problems. Luckily, both Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are particularly fine specimens of manhood, so you cannot really go wrong. Such things are subjective, so simply do what your heart tells you to do. I always do, with good results.

Love, Uncle.


10 comments on “Ask Uncle

  1. Seyi sandra
    October 29, 2012

    Vote for both! Haa Haaa!!

  2. desi traveler
    October 29, 2012

    Excellent….thanks for clarifying……. I guess it is tougher to choose who will be the US presidents compared to who will be Indian president… 🙂

  3. neelkanth
    October 29, 2012

    Why not apply your own conscience?

  4. mjreynoldsblog
    October 30, 2012

    LOL@ “Consuming large quantities of food from McDonald’s does not automatically qualify you for US citizenship.” You would think it would, wouldn’t you?

  5. walkerjay
    October 30, 2012

    Where on earth did you get that wretched spelling for Bangalore?

    • shovonc
      October 31, 2012

      Uncle is always careful about hurting the sentiment of others.

      • walkerjay
        October 31, 2012

        🙂 Bangalore shall always be Bangalore.

  6. moderndayruth
    November 1, 2012

    Hilarious!!! We are all so obsessed with US elections (albeit rightfully so ;)) that i also ‘kinda feel i should vote! Note to self: Montenegrin citizens are not eligible to vote in the US elections.

  7. ZinalBhadra
    November 2, 2012


  8. Naomi Baltuck
    November 9, 2012

    The best man won!

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