Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
In news that has been described as ‘a ray of hope for the unemployed’, Rahul Gandhi, 42, has agreed to take a job.
“They were ruining my shoes by crying all over them,” said Mr Gandhi. “I couldn’t take it anymore. Plus Kapil Sibal threatened to write me a poem. I had to save the nation from that.”
The Society For Prevention of Cruelty to Idiots has welcomed the move, as have the Global Comedy Council, the Masochist Majority, and Footkissers Anonymous.
“Our members are very enthusiastic,” said Mr Charan Chhoo, secretary, FA. “It’s been good times for them. Now it’s going to be even better. It just goes to show that there is nothing you cannot achieve if you kiss the right feet.”
Mr Gandhi has asked the Congress Party to hire eminent detective Sherlock Holmes, to help him get some clues. “Someone mentioned that he was fictional, but I’m not narrow-minded,” said Mr Gandhi, “I don’t care which fiction he belongs to.”
Will his lack of any kind of work experience whatsoever prove to be a handicap?
“Well, it didn’t stop mummy,” said Mr. Gandhi. “Look how well that turned out.”
A comprehensive list of Mr Gandhi’s achievements till date can be viewed here