Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

Ask Uncle


Dear Uncle,

My son wants to grow up to be like Rahul Gandhi. How can I help him?

Nita, Mumbai


Dearest Nita,

He needs help from a trained professional. My cousin in Lajpat Nagar is a psychiatrist. He can help you. I can sms his details. His rates are very reasonable, although you should avoid the electro shock therapy, as there is a lot of voltage fluctuation in that area.

In case I have misunderstood your requirement, here is a simple three-point program that will meet your needs.

1)   Set up a blood donation camp on Rajiv Gandhi’s birthday

2)   Invite Rahul Gandhi to participate. If you allow Kapil Sibal to read his poetry to you, he will make the necessary arrangements

3)   Once you have procured Rahul Gandhi’s blood, transfer this blood to your son.

After this, tell everyone that the blood of the Nehru-Gandhis is flowing in his veins. The rest should be simple.

Love, Uncle


16 comments on “Ask Uncle

  1. neelkanth
    January 24, 2013

    Wonderful and most meaningful a satire.

  2. Ajith
    January 24, 2013

    Then tell sonia gandhi to adopt your son. Only Rajiv Gandhi’s family can become prime minister of india and no other family.

    January 24, 2013

    omg what a satire.!!!…too funny and amusing..!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. The Narcissist
    January 28, 2013

    Haha that was a good one. I should make my girl friend read this. She hates Rahul Gandhi as well 😀

  5. umashankar
    January 28, 2013

    That is a Eureka Moment, indeed, notwithstanding my doubts whether Mr Rahul Gandhi could be forced to donate blood for a humanitarian cause, leave alone such a prophetic intent. Kudos to you, as ever!

  6. svsaibaba
    January 28, 2013

    Ha ha ha Very good satire 🙂

  7. Fayaz Pasha
    January 29, 2013

    Superb! The second suggestion is good as it is very risky to go to a Psychiatrist.

  8. Purba
    January 29, 2013

    And to think, our glorious future lies in his hands.!

  9. subhorup
    January 29, 2013

    Real cool!

  10. vishalrathod76
    January 29, 2013

    LOL . good sense of humour.

  11. matheikal
    January 29, 2013

    Nita must be stupid.

    • kayemofnmy
      January 29, 2013

      Haha. Or ambitious. What’s to stop someone stupid from being ambitious. Great post, Shovonc.

  12. Vaishali Jain
    January 30, 2013

    Thanks for the nice read! It made me chuckle. 😀

  13. Sudha Shashwati
    January 30, 2013

    Now this was seriously good! Loved every bit of it. I’m still smiling contemptuously at the silly friends I have who croon over that cute 40 year old eligible bachelor 😀

  14. Superb. I will now tell people the fastest way to get Nehru-Gandhi family’s blood… 🙂

  15. Ankit Beri
    February 15, 2013

    I will surely recommend this to people !!
    lol !!!

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This entry was posted on January 24, 2013 by in Ask Uncle.

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