INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

MADAME TUSSAUD DEMANDS RETURN OF DUMMY.


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In news that has led to further deterioration in Indo-British relations, Madam Tussaud’s has demanded immediate return of the waxwork dummy of Manmohan Singh, supplied to the Government of India in 2003.

Madam Tussaud’s is a famous London establishment featuring wax replicas of celebrities, including Shahrukh Khan and Aishwarya Rai, who have been kept in separate rooms to avoid unnecessary criticism. They are suing the government for both ‘arrears in rent’ and ‘loss of reputation’.

“Our dummies are much more active than this,” said Monsieur Tussaud, husband of Madame Tussaud, “The whole point is they should look life-like. Otherwise why will people come?”

External Affairs Minister Salman Khurshid took time off from the disabled to deny all charges.

“They are completely misinformed,” said Mr Khurshid, “We stopped using the dummy long ago. Due to the heat, it was beginning to stick to its chair. Since 2009, we have been using a robot manufactured by Honda. It works perfectly, except that it automatically goes on mute whenever it hears the word ‘lasagna’.”

In related news, the PMO has denied that the recent reduction in government activity has been due to ‘loss of remote control’.

“It was only temporary, and now things are fine,” said a PMO spokesperson; “Someone forgot to give the remote to mummy before going on holiday.”

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7 comments on “MADAME TUSSAUD DEMANDS RETURN OF DUMMY.

  1. Prasad Np
    June 28, 2013

    Not a bad trade if we can get back the Kohinoor…:) What do you say — Dummy for Diamond 🙂

  2. Deepen
    June 28, 2013

    MADAME TUSSAUD I request you to pls take the original Manmohan and keep the dummy.I would pay the bond of assurance that the real one is more dumber than the wax one

  3. Louisa's Writer
    July 1, 2013

    Very good post, as usual. Please keep them coming…Royal Birth, next?

  4. bonobashi
    July 3, 2013

    This is not good. It may open the door for all sorts of outrageous demands. Imagine if the Italian Government (there was one last night) asks for eminent Indians as hostages for the duration of the trial of the Marines. Imagine if the BJP insists on the surrender of a former MP chief minister to its own custody until the officers under investigations for various crimes in Gujarat are fully exonerated. Imagine if the Jamaat-ul-Hind wants Didi to be handed over to them to ensure that Ramazan is not used as an excuse for further fiddling with panchayat poll dates. Only chaos will ensue. The MEA should issue a strong rejoinder to this particular outrageous demand, and point to the possible consequences in terms of popular unrest in Assam, and offer them Sushil Kumar Shinde’s lifelike model instead. Apparently there are several already in circulation.

  5. murugz
    January 4, 2014

    Haha mummy dummy whammy!

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This entry was posted on January 28, 2013 by in BREAKING NEWS!! and tagged , , , , , .

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