MADAME TUSSAUD DEMANDS RETURN OF DUMMY.

In news that has led to further deterioration in Indo-British relations, Madam Tussaud’s has demanded immediate return of the waxwork dummy of Manmohan Singh, supplied to the Government of India in 2003.

Madam Tussaud’s is a famous London establishment featuring wax replicas of celebrities, including Shahrukh Khan and Aishwarya Rai, who have been kept in separate rooms to avoid unnecessary criticism. They are suing the government for both ‘arrears in rent’ and ‘loss of reputation’.

“Our dummies are much more active than this,” said Monsieur Tussaud, husband of Madame Tussaud, “The whole point is they should look life-like. Otherwise why will people come?”

External Affairs Minister Salman Khurshid took time off from the disabled to deny all charges.

“They are completely misinformed,” said Mr Khurshid, “We stopped using the dummy long ago. Due to the heat, it was beginning to stick to its chair. Since 2009, we have been using a robot manufactured by Honda. It works perfectly, except that it automatically goes on mute whenever it hears the word ‘lasagna’.”

In related news, the PMO has denied that the recent reduction in government activity has been due to ‘loss of remote control’.

“It was only temporary, and now things are fine,” said a PMO spokesperson; “Someone forgot to give the remote to mummy before going on holiday.”