Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
In news that has led to widespread panic in Harvard Business School, legendary entrepreneur Robert Vadra has announced the opening of the Vadra School of Management, based in Haryana. Its logo will be a large banana. Board members will include investment guru Warren Buffet and magician P.C. Sorcar. The institute, spread over 3000 acres of lush agricultural land, will provide individual gyms for each student. The curriculum will include courses on ‘Marriage Tips’, ‘Bank Hypnotism’, and ‘Motorcycle Maintenance’.
“Five years ago, I was just a small farmer,” said Mr Vadra, “Which is why I did a lot of bodybuilding. Once I was the right size, everything else fell into place, mostly at my feet.”
Prominent economists have hailed the development. “With an annual growth rate of over 5000%, Mr Vadra’s business was one of the few bright spots in a tottering economy,” said one of them. “Now that he is sharing his secrets with the public, we see India outstripping China in the very near future.”
Markets have reacted favourably to the development, with a swift upsurge in the rupee, along with furious short-selling of all other major currencies.
Meanwhile, overwhelmed by the response, a spokesperson for VSM has denied that all students will be studying free of cost.
“Students will be provided interest-free loans. They will use this money to pay our fees,” he said, “All they require is a bank account, which may or may not contain money.”