Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.



In news that has horrified Montek Singh Ahluwalia, Toyota Motor Company has launched a special scheme for the underprivileged in India. All holders of the Below Poverty Line card will now receive a Toyota Fortuner SUV, absolutely free of cost, along with three kilos of rice. This was originally intended as a grand gesture to celebrate India’s Independence Day, but was revealed prematurely by a report in the Times of India. According to this report, Mayurbhanj MLA Srinath Soren is both the holder of a BPL card, and the owner of a Toyota SUV. Although an early beneficiary, he remains disgruntled. “My wife and two children also live below the poverty line,” he said, “And they are yet to receive their vehicles.”

“We were misled by Mr Ahluwalia,” said the MD of Toyota, who is currently in hiding. “According to his statistics, there are hardly any poor people in India. We wanted to do something nice for the few who remained. We are beginning to think there may be some error in his calculations.”

As long queues of poor people form in front of Toyota dealerships across the country, other automobile manufacturers are considering similar schemes. BMW is reportedly targeting Other Backward Castes, while Jaguar is keen to approach the animal-loving Bishnoi community. Rolls Royce has refused to be participate. “Our focus has always been the Karunanidhi family,” said a spokesperson, “This is why our new model comes equipped with a monogrammed sambhar thermos.”

MLA Srinath Soren reacted with surprise to those who questioned his BPL status. “Believe me,” he said, “Compared to Mr Sharad Pawar, I am most definitely below the poverty line.”


  1. Desi Traveler
    April 3, 2013

    Count me in, please share my details with Toyota…

  2. Barb Drummond
    April 3, 2013

    I think a lot of Brisith politicians would qualify. Or claim they do. Do they come wiht rice cookers and a way of hooking up o the national grid? A bathroom might be useful for the really poor and homeless.

  3. sudiptapikuroy
    April 3, 2013

    Remaining categories of citizens who have missed the “bus” are approaching the Hinduja brothers… they contend that they are after all, “colonial cousins”…

  4. RP Kumar
    April 4, 2013

    After Red Lobster’s debacle with the “all the shrimp you can eat” promotion, you would have thought marketers would have learned their lesson. But no, the capitalist desire to serve the poor burns brightly still…

  5. ROFL
    Man you good!

  6. rose
    April 6, 2013

    brilliiant as always. I should try to do something like this for Australian politics but I have nowhere near your wit and knowledge of public affairs.

  7. Shovon is it poverty of brain or ethics which is considered for these windfalls?

  8. Shakti Ghosal
    April 8, 2013

    What is it that allows you to retain this intrinsic humour and positivity in this post? Loved it.


    • shovonc
      April 8, 2013

      Thanks. It’s very difficult.

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This entry was posted on April 3, 2013 by in BREAKING NEWS!! and tagged , , , , , .

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