Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.



In news described as ‘uplifting’ by the Retired Dictators Welfare Association, former Pakistan President Pervez Musharraf has been granted a reprieve by the Pakistan Supreme Court. This was after an announcement by Bollywood legend Karan Johar that he had signed up the strongman for his forthcoming epic, ‘Love in Kashmir’.

“Although he completely screwed up the country,” said Chief Justice Chowdhary, “The economic interests of innocent producers are at stake. Hence we will delay his arrest till he completes this project. In this matter we are guided by our brothers in the Indian Supreme Court.”

Billed as ‘India’s answer to Brokeback Mountain, but with more firing’, ‘Love in Kashmir’ is the story of a cross-border romance between a Pakistani Commando and a Kashmiri boatman, and their thrilling escape from the wrath of the Taliban, aided by Angelina Jolie.

In related news, under trials across India have been demanding acting lessons. “My mother always said I was very handsome,” said Ram Prakash Ram, a history-sheeter from Bulandshahr, “I should also get a chance.”


  1. Desi Traveler
    April 19, 2013

    I think now the better name would be ” Kaid Main Hai General”

  2. My Say
    April 20, 2013

    hahaha !! Taliban aided by Angelina Jolie ?? hahahahha … that was the pick of the ‘2 minute read and 10 mins giggle and laugh ‘ post of yours sir !! 😀

  3. butimbeautiful
    April 22, 2013

    Can’t wait! I always thought Dictator Musharref was just gorgeous, and that whiff of bloodletting only adds to his appeal. What’s a history sheeter?

    • shovonc
      April 22, 2013

      Guy with a long list of crimes listed in a history sheet at the police station. Pillar of society, usually.

      • butimbeautiful
        April 25, 2013

        Ohhh. You know, I think your posts are incredibly witty. You should write for a paper or something. I would always read your column if you did. You deserve many more likes.

  4. moderndayruth
    April 26, 2013

    bwahhahh!!! LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your satire (and HATE the dictators!)

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This entry was posted on April 18, 2013 by in BREAKING NEWS!! and tagged , , , , .

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