INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

THOUSANDS RIOT IN PAKISTAN AFTER KFC SHUTS DOWN


In a development greeted enthusiastically by chickens across the world, Pakistan witnessed massive riots after KFC closed down all outlets on Love The Prophet Day. The Pakistan government had declared … Continue reading

September 22, 2012 · 18 Comments

FDI WAS A TYPO, SAYS GOVERNMENT


In a move hailed by the government, the government has clarified that the recent controversy over Foreign Direct Investment was the result of a typographical error. “It was all a … Continue reading

September 20, 2012 · 14 Comments

Things to Remember


If you cremate them, they can’t spin in their graves.

September 7, 2012 · 1 Comment

Pome of the Day


Life Hey! Wait! No! Damn! Shit! Really? Over.

August 29, 2012 · 3 Comments

MUSSOLINI SPOTTED ON RACE COURSE ROAD


Deceased Italian dictator Benito Mussolini is rumoured to have been in the vicinity of Race Course Road yesterday afternoon, as valiant police officers fought to protect Sonia Gandhi from hordes … Continue reading

August 27, 2012 · 3 Comments

KNOW YOUR HATS : BOLLYWOOD SPECIAL


No one knows what this hat is. Probably it’s a Bollywood hat. Traditionally, Bollywood hats are worn by those whose ancestors were producers or actors in the Bombay film industry. … Continue reading

August 21, 2012 · 8 Comments

Ask Uncle


  Dear Uncle, My neighbour has purchased a Harley-Davidson. I am apprehensive. Can you give any suggestion? Sashi Kant, Ghaziabad   Dear Sashi, You have forgotten to mention whether your … Continue reading

August 16, 2012 · Leave a comment

“I THOUGHT I SAW A MAN IN A TURBAN,” EXPLAINS JAGDISH TYTLER


Congress leader Jagdish Tytler has clarified that he has been the victim of a simple misunderstanding. Mr. Tytler is best known for not having anything to do with the massacre … Continue reading

August 15, 2012 · 6 Comments

MICHAEL JACKSON REINCARNATED IN PATPARGANJ.


Strong evidence has emerged that the King of Pop has manifested once more as Pappu Pramanik, a 2-year old resident of Patpargunj. “He keeps grabbing his crotch,” said his proud … Continue reading

August 14, 2012 · 4 Comments

Things to Remember


  Smoking doesn’t always kill someone else.      

August 13, 2012 · 2 Comments

FLOWER THROWING TO BE COMPULSORY AT MAMATA BANERJEE MEETINGS.


In a move likely to boost floriculture in West Bengal, Bengal Supremo Mamata Banerjee has made it compulsory for people to throw flowers at her at all public meetings. This … Continue reading

August 13, 2012 · 16 Comments

Pome of the Day


Big Red Flashie Light  Mama, can we get the car A big, red, flashie light? Flish! Flash! The light will go Such a pretty sight If police are on the … Continue reading

August 11, 2012 · 4 Comments

VEGETARIAN TERRORISTS LIBERATE CHINESE RESTAURANT


In a move that has elated chickens across India, the Sakahari Sena has liberated a Chinese restaurant in Central Delhi. The Sakahari Sena, or Vegetarian Defense League (popularly known as … Continue reading

August 9, 2012 · 7 Comments

MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONALS PURSUE AIRLINE OWNER


Traffic in Bangalore was severely disrupted this morning, after a queue of eager mental health professionals formed outside the residence of airline and liquor magnate Vijay Mallya. Mr. Mallya has … Continue reading

August 5, 2012 · 2 Comments

KNOW YOUR LAWS : SEDITION (1898)


The Sedition Law was a gift from the British government of India to the Indian government of India. Early one morning, just before Independence, the two of them were sitting … Continue reading

August 5, 2012 · 6 Comments

HARYANA POLICE TO CO-OPERATE FULLY WITH MINISTER.


In a move hailed by sex offenders across the nation, the Haryana Police have promised full co-operation to multi-millionaire former shoe shop owner Gopal Kanda. Mr. Kanda faced a national … Continue reading

August 3, 2012 · Leave a comment

Quickies


Bengal supremo Mamta Banerjee demonstrates the ‘Mobile Dance’, a traditional Bengali folk dance performed to welcome the advent of new models.

July 31, 2012 · 2 Comments

DETECTIVE HIRED TO FIND GOVERNMENT


Concerned citizens are in the process of hiring a detective to find the government, which has been absconding since August, 2011. “We looked all around for clues, but we couldn’t … Continue reading

July 31, 2012 · 5 Comments

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