INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

KNOW YOUR HATS : GANDHI CAP


The Gandhi cap was popularized by the original Gandhi, Mahatma. He acquired the habit in South African prison, where all non-white prisoners were expected to wear one, in order to … Continue reading

January 4, 2014 · 7 Comments

Quickies


Shri Sri Ravi Shankar advises an aspiring CBI candidate.

July 5, 2013 · 4 Comments

MADAME TUSSAUD DEMANDS RETURN OF DUMMY.


In news that has led to further deterioration in Indo-British relations, Madam Tussaud’s has demanded immediate return of the waxwork dummy of Manmohan Singh, supplied to the Government of India … Continue reading

January 28, 2013 · 7 Comments

GOVERNMENT TO AUCTION POSITIONS ON E-BAY


In a move welcomed by Transparency International, the government today announced that henceforth, all government positions are to be filled through a process of auctions on e-Bay. “Given the trade … Continue reading

January 8, 2013 · 1 Comment

KNOW YOUR LAWS : Indian Penal Code (1860), Section 497, Adultery


Section 497 of the Indian Penal Code is one of two sections designed to protect men from other men. Section 380 protects his goods and chattels, while Section 497 protects … Continue reading

September 26, 2012 · 14 Comments

I MEANT CORRUPTION ON JUPITER, EXPLAINS RAHUL GANDHI


In a speech which his admirers described as ‘rivaled only by the one he gave last week’, Rahul Gandhi has impressed many by the depth of his passion against corruption. … Continue reading

September 24, 2012 · Leave a comment

KNOW YOUR HATS : KARAKUL


The Karakul is a historic hat, worn by Jinnah, Soviet Politburo members, and Eddie Murphy in ‘Coming to America’. Made from the wool of Persian lambs, it is often worn … Continue reading

September 11, 2012 · 16 Comments

CBI INVESTIGATES CBI


In a move that has enthused evildoers everywhere, the Central Bureau of Investigation has announced that it will be investigating itself for possible payroll fraud. This step has been taken … Continue reading

September 7, 2012 · 3 Comments

“WE DIDN’T HAVE TIME AT DUTY FREE,” EXPLAINS CHINESE DEFENSE MINISTER.


A diplomatic incident was narrowly avoided in New Delhi yesterday, after the visiting Chinese defense minister explained why he tipped two Indian Air Force pilots at a formal ceremony. The … Continue reading

September 7, 2012 · Leave a comment

KNOW YOUR LAWS : INDIAN AIRCRAFT ACT, 1934


Under this act, your government controls the manufacture, possession, operation, use, and sale of aircraft. The term ‘aircraft’ includes gliders, kites, and balloons, whether fixed or free. This explains why … Continue reading

September 5, 2012 · 2 Comments

India Classifieds


Do you feel uncontrollable rage? Are neighbours giving you nervous looks? Enjoy 100% relief at Dr Nambiar’s Psycho Clinic. Serving the nation since 1966.

September 4, 2012 · 2 Comments

SHARAD PAWAR DENIES BUYING PAPUA NEW GUINEA


In news that has triggered massive celebrations across the Pacific Rim, Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar has denied that the government has hiked the price of cooking gas so that he … Continue reading

September 1, 2012 · 3 Comments

Pome of the Day


Life Hey! Wait! No! Damn! Shit! Really? Over.

August 29, 2012 · 3 Comments

MUSSOLINI SPOTTED ON RACE COURSE ROAD


Deceased Italian dictator Benito Mussolini is rumoured to have been in the vicinity of Race Course Road yesterday afternoon, as valiant police officers fought to protect Sonia Gandhi from hordes … Continue reading

August 27, 2012 · 3 Comments

Quickies


Hindu heart throb Narendra Modi demonstrates the correct way to hold a samosa.

August 23, 2012 · 1 Comment

PAKISTAN BLAMES GUCCI


In a development that has terrified the handbag industry, the Pakistan government has blamed Gucci for the misunderstanding regarding cyber attacks on India. “It is true that there has been … Continue reading

August 21, 2012 · 2 Comments

KNOW YOUR HATS : BOLLYWOOD SPECIAL


No one knows what this hat is. Probably it’s a Bollywood hat. Traditionally, Bollywood hats are worn by those whose ancestors were producers or actors in the Bombay film industry. … Continue reading

August 21, 2012 · 8 Comments

Ask Uncle


  Dear Uncle, My neighbour has purchased a Harley-Davidson. I am apprehensive. Can you give any suggestion? Sashi Kant, Ghaziabad   Dear Sashi, You have forgotten to mention whether your … Continue reading

August 16, 2012 · Leave a comment

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