Ask Uncle

 

Dear Uncle,

My son wants to grow up to be like Rahul Gandhi. How can I help him?

Nita, Mumbai

 

Dearest Nita,

He needs help from a trained professional. My cousin in Lajpat Nagar is a psychiatrist. He can help you. I can sms his details. His rates are very reasonable, although you should avoid the electro shock therapy, as there is a lot of voltage fluctuation in that area.

In case I have misunderstood your requirement, here is a simple three-point program that will meet your needs.

1)   Set up a blood donation camp on Rajiv Gandhi’s birthday

2)   Invite Rahul Gandhi to participate. If you allow Kapil Sibal to read his poetry to you, he will make the necessary arrangements

3)   Once you have procured Rahul Gandhi’s blood, transfer this blood to your son.

After this, tell everyone that the blood of the Nehru-Gandhis is flowing in his veins. The rest should be simple.

Love, Uncle