INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

GOVERNMENT TO EXECUTE PEOPLE WITHOUT SPECTACLES


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In news that has given a fillip to the rope manufacturing industry, the government has announced a packed schedule of executions in the run-up to the elections.

“Afzal Guru had a beard,” said a government spokesperson, who was clean-shaven. “He was executed after eight years to demonstrate that we are not pandering to people with beards. However, someone has pointed out that he also used to wear spectacles. This conveys the impression that the government is against bespectacled people. We will prove otherwise by executing a person without spectacles in the near future.”

Afzal Guru was also a short person. Does this indicate that the government is likely to take a stronger stand against the vertically challenged?

“Nothing could be further from the truth,” said the spokesperson. “The votes of short people are very precious to us. We are measuring the inmates on death row. Rest assured that some of the taller ones will be executed very soon.”

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8 comments on “GOVERNMENT TO EXECUTE PEOPLE WITHOUT SPECTACLES

  1. yarnspinnerr
    February 12, 2013

    “Buxar central jail is the only producer of hanging ropes in India. The prisoners of the jail have been making the ropes since 1930 and this rope has never failed to execute the death sentence,” said a prison official. The ideal length of a hanging rope should be 1.6 times the height of the victim.

    More details at

    http://m.timesofindia.com/city/patna/Buxar-rope-used-for-hanging/articleshow/18424075.cms

    Enjoyed the spoof. :-)

  2. Diana
    February 12, 2013

    Howdy

  3. neelkanth
    February 12, 2013

    Very interesting.

  4. vishalrathod76
    February 13, 2013

    yaa it is interesting

  5. meesha
    February 13, 2013

    Threat of hanging is wonderfully effective way to keep people on their toes !

  6. maitreyeechowdhury
    February 14, 2013

    Good one!

  7. Ankit Beri
    February 15, 2013

    Interesting !!

  8. moderndayruth
    February 20, 2013

    Goodness :/

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This entry was posted on February 12, 2013 by in BREAKING NEWS!! and tagged , , , , , , .

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