INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

CBI NARROWLY AVOIDS SOLVING JEEP SCAM OF 1948


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In news that has been described as ‘unprecedented in the history of Indian law enforcement’, the Central Bureau of Investigation has narrowly avoided solving the Jeep Scam of 1948.  Disaster was averted by prompt action on the part of the Director, CBI, who has been nominated for a gallantry award. Thanks to the Director’s intervention,  the CBI’s unblemished record of never having solved a defense case since India became independent remains intact. The concerned officer has been transferred to the Andaman and Nicobar Islands.

“This mishap occurred due to the extreme youth of the investigating officer,” said the Director. “We are reviewing all our training practices. In areas such as misplacing of files, attitudes have become casual. In the Coalgate Scam, for example, only 20 files have disappeared. In our day, we would vanish entire filing cabinets. To make matters worse, just because the Coal Ministry is five minutes from our office, some files have reached us within six months. Luckily we cannot proceed without Xerox copies, and our requisition for a new Xerox machine is still pending. We have used up our existing budget on internet surveillance and lasagna. This should give us a few years to recover from the rush.”

The Jeep Scandal case was closed by the government in 1955, ignoring suggestions for a judicial inquiry made by the Ayyangar Committee, making it one of the first such committees to be ignored. However, in the absence of written instructions asking them to cease, the CBI has continued its investigations.

What next for the CBI in the Jeep Scandal Case?

“We have to interrogate the person who signed the deal,” said the Director, CBI. “There are rumours that he passed away in 1974, but we will need a Xerox copy of his death certificate.”

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8 comments on “CBI NARROWLY AVOIDS SOLVING JEEP SCAM OF 1948

  1. sbillinghurst
    February 19, 2013

    Would you quit? You are too angry and making rash statements. I direct you to PHYSICISTS EVEN WHEN SOBER. They think all the time, not just when they’re sober. If they drink they don’t do good physics, according to Feynman, who was who in telling the country the entirety of NASA had problems in 1986.

    He invented the A-bomb, but so did somebody where you are at. I would try to solve who gave Pakistan the bomb. India will get it, won’t they, one day? From Pakistan, which is more dangerous. Therefore a lot of reticence and lying rather than to challenge ol’Pakistan.

    I bet a war there has thirty nukes to expend. Ha ha ha

  2. Learning the hard way
    February 25, 2013

    You brighten my Monday. Droll stuff, indeed.

  3. ankururdu
    February 25, 2013

    Nice,
    Thanks for your grateful informations, am working in, asian affairs magazine

    so it will be a better information’s for me. Try to post best informations like this always

    Global security: Avoiding the wars that never end

  4. Louisa's Writer
    February 25, 2013

    I wonder what this fascination is with Italian food? Spaghetti, now Lasagna….no mention of more homegrown culinary delights?

    • shovonc
      March 18, 2013

      Our current Maximum Leader was born in Italy. We welcomed her quite warmly, which is why what she’s done subsequently is even more heinous. Thanks for reading!

  5. rose
    February 26, 2013

    no idea what the Jeep scandal is. But obviously our bureaucrats could take a leaf out of that book. After signing the requisite paperwork, of course.

  6. yarnspinnerr
    February 26, 2013

    Clapping. :-)

  7. vishalrathod76
    March 23, 2013

    Never knew anything about such scandal
    Travel India

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This entry was posted on February 19, 2013 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , .

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