FLOWER THROWING TO BE COMPULSORY AT MAMATA BANERJEE MEETINGS.

In a move likely to boost floriculture in West Bengal, Bengal Supremo Mamata Banerjee has made it compulsory for people to throw flowers at her at all public meetings. This step was announced soon after a bus conductor was arrested yesterday for asking a question at a rally in Jhargram. This rule will also apply to television viewing, which means families need to keep flowers handy while watching the news.

“There is a need to more rigorously enforce spontaneous displays of affection,” said TMC vice-president Derek O’Brien, “Also, we need to eliminate all bus conductors, along with all buses. This we will do as soon as we achieve our stated goal of 100% unemployment.”

Anxious members of the public have inquired whether Ms Banerjee has any preferences regarding the specific type of flower to be used for this purpose.

“It’s better to buy them from a member of the Party,” said Mr. O’Brien, “But people have a democratic right to choose whatever colour they like, so long as they avoid anything between light pink and deep crimson.”