INDIA UPDATE

Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.

FLOWER THROWING TO BE COMPULSORY AT MAMATA BANERJEE MEETINGS.


In a move likely to boost floriculture in West Bengal, Bengal Supremo Mamata Banerjee has made it compulsory for people to throw flowers at her at all public meetings. This step was announced soon after a bus conductor was arrested yesterday for asking a question at a rally in Jhargram. This rule will also apply to television viewing, which means families need to keep flowers handy while watching the news.

“There is a need to more rigorously enforce spontaneous displays of affection,” said TMC vice-president Derek O’Brien, “Also, we need to eliminate all bus conductors, along with all buses. This we will do as soon as we achieve our stated goal of 100% unemployment.”

Anxious members of the public have inquired whether Ms Banerjee has any preferences regarding the specific type of flower to be used for this purpose.

“It’s better to buy them from a member of the Party,” said Mr. O’Brien, “But people have a democratic right to choose whatever colour they like, so long as they avoid anything between light pink and deep crimson.”

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16 comments on “FLOWER THROWING TO BE COMPULSORY AT MAMATA BANERJEE MEETINGS.

  1. aarthycrazy
    August 13, 2012

    Really!! no kidding??

    • shovonc
      August 14, 2012

      No. But an MP has said everyone should look at her picture before going to work in the morning. And the man who asked her a question was charged under 4 separate sections of the Indian Penal Code, and could receive life imprisonment if they want.

  2. Sanjiv Khamgaonkar
    August 13, 2012

    “Red phlowers” she screams! Maoists! “Arrest the lot” says Adolf’s long lost sister as she begins frothing at the mouth.

  3. magiceye
    August 14, 2012

    lol!!!

  4. Ghazala Hossain
    August 14, 2012

    Red is too hot for her…lol

  5. Floriculture! God! What a way to express your love for Mamata di. 😀 Superb. 🙂

  6. purbaray
    August 15, 2012

    Mamata Di doesn’t face the music. She arrests it.

  7. Rajrupa Gupta
    August 16, 2012

    She can get you arrested for this…or maybe me for commenting here! So beware!

  8. Shitij Bagga
    August 17, 2012

    You musht be a Maoisht aj bell.. Otherbize you bud not hab written sho much bullshit about momta. See bot she ij doing phor bettermant oph the great ishtate oph bhest bongol..

  9. RAMU DAS
    August 20, 2012

    “There is a need to more rigorously enforce spontaneous displays of affection,”
    to throw flowers at her at all public meetings….

    I’ll do that. Ha!!

    Add one female deity to the already erxisting millions: MAMTA MA KI JAI

    Oh, and what is that with her pose, is she trying to gulp someone alive?

  10. panchali
    August 21, 2012

    Shovan….LOL
    What if our ‘ghaass-phool’ minister is allergic to flowers??!! And I hope you understand …manifestation of her allergy/ anger might just put you behind the bars!! Oh, but, never mind, eventually very few in Bengal would be outside the prison…so we all SHALL be there! Kono bhoy nei!:D
    Gawd, from where did you get that pic..?ROFL…!

    • shovonc
      August 21, 2012

      Thanks. The pic was the very first option on Google Images. I really should find out who took it. That’s genuine journalism.

  11. Pingback: * In India, Mamata Banerjee May Bring Down Coalition | Chindia Alert: forewarned is forearmed

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This entry was posted on August 13, 2012 by in BREAKING NEWS!! and tagged , , , , , , .

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