Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
Section 497 of the Indian Penal Code is one of two sections designed to protect men from other men. Section 380 protects his goods and chattels, while Section 497 protects his wife.
Punishment for adultery is imprisonment up to five years. Given that the legal process usually takes twenty to twenty five years, it is likely that by the time you emerge from jail, you will no longer be able to get it up. Therefore, men planning to indulge in sexual congress outside of marriage are urged to consider the following.
a) It is only adultery if the said congress occurs without the permission of the husband. Hence, in order to avoid a jail sentence, it’s better to take written consent from him. This makes it legal.
b) It is not adultery if a married man has congress with an unmarried woman or a widow. In such cases, no penalty applies.
c) In case the matter is urgent, and it becomes essential to have sex with a married woman, try to make sure that the said sex is non-consensual. This does not qualify as adultery.
What can a man do if his wife has been bonked by someone else? The law is very clear on this point. He can prosecute the man, or men, as the case may be. However, he cannot prosecute his wife, even if she does it repeatedly, in his presence, in front of television cameras, with multiple partners, individually or simultaneously.
Which brings us to the good news for women. Women cannot be prosecuted for adultery in India. So go for it, ladies. This is one of the few laws which actually favours you. You might as well make the most of it.