INDIA UPDATE
Many physicists today postulate the existence of multiple universes, even when sober. We used to live in a world of infinite possibilities. Now we live in an infinite number of worlds. India shines. Democracy thrives. The economy booms. A hundred flyovers bloom. This is not that India. If you see your picture here one day, don’t worry. That’s not you.
“I WAS IRRIGATING SWITZERLAND,” EXPLAINS AJIT PAWAR
In a move described as ‘the most significant advance in Indo-Swiss relations since Toblerone’, Maharashtra Irrigation Minister Ajit Pawar has explained that steps to improve irrigation by his department over the last five years were mainly conducted in Switzerland.
Mr. Pawar is a leading member of the Pawar family, famous for wearing underwear made entirely out of currency notes. He has resigned after the Maharashtra government announced that it would be publishing a white paper on irrigation. “He thought it would be blank,” said an aide. “He was furious when we explained that it would have actual writing in it.”
According to news reports, despite spending over 85 billion yuan* on irrigation in the last five years, the total area under irrigation in Maharashtra has increased by 0.01%. The analyst who produced these figures has fled to the US, where he is likely to be adopted by Angelina Jolie.
Swiss authorities have welcomed the move. “Mr. Pawar is one of our biggest benefactors,” they said, “He wanted to keep his charitable acts anonymous, but it was becoming hard to hide the evidence. His support in the area of irrigation is the reason why we have so many lakes.”
*Due to increasing international readership, India Update will now be converting all sums of money into international currency.
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Maybe he should try the Netherlands. I think they could use some help with their irrigation too.
Two yuan get us into horse races?
Gupt daan maha daan.
Silent donation is the best donation. The Swiss didn’t know and we 135 crore Indians didn’t know. I appreciate Mr. Powar’s (or Putwaters’) silencers. Must be imported – Italy made ?
As you can see, Italy is just across the border.
See, I knew that !! I bet Dr. SMS’s ears and eyes are also from the same manufacturer !!
Angelina Jolie will do all of us a huge favour if she adopted Pawar himself! Hope she returns those undergarments to the poor citizens of India! 😀
We should not blame Pawar-one can irrigate only one area at a time!The Swiss have a lot to thank us for.
This one is a classic masterpeice… full or “pawar” and no “brawn”…!!!
Hi Piku! Thanks!
ha ha
So he improved irrigation in Switzerland.
Wow Shovon! Another fantastic post. Angelina Jolie seems to have a mighty heart. 🙂
Why yuan as currency of choice?
Swiss authorities were referring to the elder “Mr. Pawar” or the relatively younger nephew of his? 😀
Who wouldn’t want to be adopted by Angelina!
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