AJIT PAWAR TO PERSONALLY IRRIGATE MAHARASHTRA

In news that has been welcomed by supporters of organic farming, Maharashtra Deputy Prime Minister Ajit Pawar has announced that he will be touring drought-affected regions of Maharashtra, in order to irrigate them personally.

“Due to the fact that I have only studied till Class X,” he said, “I have nothing to offer Maharashtra but my bodily fluids.”

According to analysts, Mr Pawar, who had earlier deployed over $14 billion of public money to irrigate Switzerland (‘I was irrigating Switzerland,’), now appears to be focusing on his home state.

A mood of cautious optimism prevails in the drought affected areas. “Since he drinks a lot, we are hoping he can also pee a lot,” said farmer Govardhan Deshmukh of Sholapur.

Further excitement has been generated by rumours that he may be joined on his irrigation tour by his uncle, Agriculture Minister Sharad Pawar, despite ill-health (‘Swiss economy collapses..’). A special chair has been procured to help him in his efforts.

“We are hoping he can provide all of us with fertilizer,” said Mr Deshmukh.