GROCERY APPS TO ENTER AGRICULTURE SEGMENT!
As the competition in India’s grocery segment intensifies, the virtuous cycle of innovation has begun. Amidst unconfirmed rumours that speedybazar.com will not only deliver your groceries, but also feed them to … Continue reading
MAN FACES JAIL FOR COPYING VIP CRIMES!
He takes one last look at the diamond belt before they take it away. ‘When I first ordered it, they had to bring it three times,’ he says, ‘Because each … Continue reading
Pome of the Day
BABA BABA BLACK SHEEP Baba baba black sheep Where did you go? What were you thinking? Nobody knows Ship is sinking Concerns grow Paradigm shifting NREGA slow Mummy may be … Continue reading
UP GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCES MAJOR POLICE REFORMS
In a move which analysts have described as ‘a giant leap into the nineteenth century’, Uttar Pradesh Police will be issuing 800 bicycles to policemen in Lucknow, Kanpur, Allahabad, and … Continue reading
I WAS KIDNAPPED BY MOTHER DAIRY, EXPLAINS BUFFALO
In news that has been hailed by the Mental Patients Association of India, one of the recovered buffaloes in the Rampur Buffalo Mishap has now named the culprits. “We are … Continue reading
OBAMA MUST SHAVE HEAD, DEMANDS FOREIGN MINISTRY
In news which has been condemned by Michelle Obama, the Indian foreign ministry has confirmed that it’s acts of retaliation against US diplomats will continue until President Obama shaves his … Continue reading
WARREN BUFFET HIRES SONIA GANDHI’S SON-IN-LAW
In news that has relieved lovers of money everywhere, legendary investment guru Warren Buffet has announced that the search for his successor is finally over. New Delhi-based entrepreneur Robert Vadra, … Continue reading
KNOW YOUR HATS : GANDHI CAP
The Gandhi cap was popularized by the original Gandhi, Mahatma. He acquired the habit in South African prison, where all non-white prisoners were expected to wear one, in order to … Continue reading
USA VICTIMISES KARGIL WAR WIDOW
In news which the foreign ministry has described as ‘yet another crime against women’, the USA has been caught red-handed in the act of victimising a Kargil war widow. The … Continue reading
Quickies
As part of the war on drugs, Noida Police announces random body cavity searches.
RAILWAY MINISTRY ANNOUNCES SPECIAL TRAIN FOR CRIMINALS
In developments hailed by the Italian mafia as ‘the greatest news since the invention of pasta’, the Railway Ministry has announced the immediate launch of ‘Prison-on-Wheels’, a special luxury train … Continue reading
GUJARAT GODMAN TO BE BRAND AMBASSADOR FOR BAIDYANATH VITA-EX
In news described as ‘highly encouraging’ by the Erectile Dysfunction Foundation, revered Godman Asaram Bapu has been appointed brand ambassador for vitality drug Baidyanath Vita-Ex, which promises improved married life. … Continue reading
CHILD GIVES AWAY FATHER’S HARD-EARNED MONEY
In news that has been condemned by the Reserve Bank of India, Pappu Verma, 11, resident of Aurangzeb Road, has been caught red-handed after giving away his father’s hard-earned money. … Continue reading
KNOW YOUR LAWS : Indian Penal Code (1860), Section 377, ‘Unnatural Sex’
According to Section 377 of the IPC, oral sex is illegal, and you could receive a life sentence for indulging in an ‘unnatural sexual practice’. This explains why people go … Continue reading
POLITICIAN LOSES HEAD WHILE FLAGGING OFF RELIEF TRAIN.
In what has been described as ‘crippling blow to relief coverage’, a local politician from Bulandshahr was fatally injured while flagging off a train filled with relief material for Uttarkhand. … Continue reading
INDIA TO CHARGE BRITAIN FOR OVERSTAYING TILL 1947
In news that has been condemned by the Delhi Gymkhana, the Indian government has announced that it will be charging the British government arrears in rent and visa fees for … Continue reading
INDIAN CRICKETERS TO PLAY IN THE NUDE
In news that has evoked mixed reactions from women, the Board of Cricket Control of India has announced that Indian players will no longer be allowed to wear clothing while … Continue reading
INDIA UPDATE 